Inner Thoughts
by XenoInfinity
Summary: One Shot. The feelings he holds are known to no-one but himself... With one little conversation... One heart can be shattered, no matter how large and strong it is. ((AU)) Cover Image by semokan on DevianArt. I don't own anything, other than the plot of this story.


"Thanks, Mom." Roxas said quietly, as he put away his dinner dishes.

His mother pouted. "Roxas..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you feeling well?" She asked.

Roxas hesitated. "Yeah... I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Mom." Roxas ensured, slightly annoyed.

His mother sighed. "Alright."

Roxas slowly shuffled to his bedroom door. "Roxas, I'm going to pick up Sora, okay?"

"Why?" He inquired, not facing her.

His mother grabbed her keys. "He's going to stay for the night. Uncle's taking another night shift, and he doesn't want Sora alone."

Roxas was silent.

His mother continued, "You know how far the house is from here, so I expect you'll be okay for the time it takes me to come back?"

"Yes, Mom." Roxas opened and entered his room, closing his door with a small _click!_

_I hope he'll be fine. _And with that, his mother left.

xXx

Roxas closed his door and began breathing harshly.

"Damn," he huffed. "I think it's... No, _I'm_ getting worse." Feeling weak in the knees, he struggled over to his bed. Unlocking his phone, he gazed at his lock screen. A beautiful girl with golden hair and ocean blue eyes smiled back at him.

_Why? _He asked himself. _Why must I feel this way?! _He placed his phone down and walked over to his desk on the other side of the room. Cluttered, it was; piled to the top of his lamp with books and papers.

_Tch... Look at all this... A mess... _He thought, as he used his arm to shove everything off. _Thump, thump. _The textbooks landed on the side near the garbage can. _I can't even bring myself to do school work... _Roxas's face saddened.

He grabbed his phone, and looked at the lock screen once again. _Why, Naminé? Why have you done this to me? _Roxas felt tears about to emerge.

Naminé, the one he felt he loved. After popping the question once, he was sadly rejected. Even so, months of texting back and forth with her, he felt he could make a change between them.

That dream no longer resurfaced after _that _conversation.

xXx

It was just about a week ago. Roxas, was eagerly messing around with his collectables.

_Hmm, I wonder how much this card will sell? Eh, I'll go check online. _He gently put a first generation _Charizard EX _into a card sleeve and into an air-tight up the family laptop, he googled for the price ranges of the card above.

_Ya'know... I haven't texted Nami-chan in a while... _He looked at the clock. _It's 7... Maybe she isn't busy._

He unlocked his phone, and started typing.

_Hey, _he sent.

_Hai, _Naminé replied.

_How's it going?_

_At my school show? Hbu?_

_I'm doing well. You performing?_

_Yeah, I went already._

_Cool, whatchu do? XD_

_Whatchu think I did? xP_

_Dem dancing skills :0_

_You know it \o/_

Roxas chuckled, placed his phone in his back pocket, and continued his search.

"Oh damn!" Roxas leaned closer to the screen. "Is it really worth 20,000 dollars? ...Lemme confirm on anoth-" He stopped as his phone wildly vibrated. After pressing a button the screen lit up. It was another text from Naminé.

_Did I ever tell you about what happened at the party?_, She asked.

"That was a couple weeks ago, wasn't it?" Roxas whispered. He responded with, _No, what did happen?_

_Well... you know how I went with a friend, right?_

_Yeah. Dat cliff?_

_Well I was looking at his hands... They were kinda cute Ya'know? And then he grabbed mine..._

_Pulling dat move o3o_

_Yeah, and he went further with it as we started dancing. He got closer and closer to my lips and near the end I just let it happen._

Roxas put down his phone. It felt there was something lodged inside him. He could even pinpoint its location. On his left side, just underneath his ribcage, behind the sternum.

He struggled to reach his phone again. _I don't want to leave her hanging, _he thought. Roxas picked up his cell and replied, _Dat liplock e.e_

_I kinda felt stupid for liking him because I had thought he would hurt me like everyone else had done, but he actually liked me back._

Roxas started typing as another message popped up.

_I told him don't do anything you'll regret, and he wouldn't. I don't regret what happened either._

Roxas's face was neutral. He sent back, _if you both don't regret what happened, then go for it._

_We've been together for more than two weeks._

His breathing slowed._ Is it working out?_

_Yeah. ',:l_

_Good for you guys :D, _Roxas sighed, he wanted to sound happy for her.

_',:l_

_._. Was it something I said?_

_I dunno._

The conversation ended there. Even though he shouldn't be, he felt miserable. _I thought this was over months ago! _He felt his rage bubbling, and closed the laptop. _Why do I still feel this pain?!_

_You better keep yourself calm... I don't want anyone asking what's wrong, _his conscience came to life.

Roxas gritted his teeth. _I'm already neutral as it is when in school..._ He slumped against the wall. _I just hope the pain doesn't revive itself._

xXx

That pain was more than predictable. Roxas blamed himself. Throwing his body onto the bed, he raged inside his mind.

His head snapped to the right. _If only you passed that damn test! Or maybe auditioned! Maybe you could have gotten yourself into that damned school!_

Flipping himself over he hissed, _Don't blame that on me! That was before these God-forsaken feelings bundled up inside me! It was the second damn year I met her. You know that!_

He got up and forced open his room door. Roxas stumbled across the hallway and into the bathroom, finally hanging his head over the toilet.

He whispered aloud, "Don't blame me... don't blame me..." His body convulsed as he vomited into the porcelain bowl. He threw up consecutively until his throat burned.

His head was spinning and swirling until he backed up against the wall. "If she hadn't told me... I could go on with this..." He brought up his fist.

"_Happy..._" Roxas pounded the mirror above the sink.

"_Worthless..._" His left hand slammed into the tiles.

"..._LIE!_" He roared, bring himself up onto the marble sink, and smashing his head through the mirror.

His vision became blurred as he looked around him. He had fallen onto the floor, blood pouring from his head and clenched fists. "My life is a lie..." He spoke quietly to himself. "My feelings are lies..." The blonde looked at his hands. "I... I'm a lie..." He grasped the nearby door handle and hoisted himself up. His big cobalt eyes reflected in the mirror. "I'm... I'm done trying..."

Shaking severely, he closed the door, limped into his bedroom, and opened the closet. He could hear Sora's loud footsteps enter his home. "Yo, Roxas! I'm here for the night, so let's play some Brawl!"

Roxas coughed. _You ignorant idiot... _He climbed onto the top shelf of his closet and shut the door on himself. _I guess... I'll rest here..._

He slowly closed his eyes as he heard Sora opened a door and screamed. "Aunt Hikari! AUNT HIKARI!"

Voices had sounded to him as mumbles, as Roxas drifted off, his head pounding, and blood still pouring. _Shaddup... Both of you..._ He thought.

His mother let out a hurt cry, that was similar to a banshee's scream. The name he thought was his own was called many times, but he was too deep within his own hurting... his broken heart... his twisted fantasy of beautiful darkness, to respond.

xXx

Ending Theme-

watch?v=rmGj8wBnDJs

All credit for the song goes to Shadowlink4321(Daniel Alvarez) and Radiatasquire.

Original Song 'Rain' by: SID

_Relax, Read, and Review_

_Peace._


End file.
